Approaching The First Bday

1296I Just cannot believe that it has been almost one year (Next Tuesday) since Byron was born (Insert ultimate shocked face emoji). I have not LOVED every minute of it, but these days I am having the best time of my life. I am the first to tell anyone who asks (or doesn’t) that the first 6-10 weeks were super difficult for me804

I remember thinking several times during those first few weeks: “why would anyone have more than 1 kid? This is just miserable” Jason would constantly remark that he just didnt feel like Byron was that hard of a baby. However, his comments would just upset me even more. I felt like i was drowning in lack of sleep and hormones. 1050My gasping ย breathes were taken in the form of reading everything I could google or grab. I was attempting to do everything that every blog and book was telling me. I was overwhelming myself with contradicting thoughts and practices. Although this seems like common sense, I wasnt able to stop my mind until I stepped back and realized that Byron was not my newest hobby. He is a little version of Jason or myself. He isn;t going to be the same day to day and he is going to have little feelings and experiences. Moreover, he had only been a part of our world for 6-10 weeks prior. It wasnt until I remembered those things (and reminded myself) that I was able to sit back and actually smile and laugh and RELAX.1094

Now, almost a year in, I barely remember that debilitating feeling. I find myself jokingly (sorta) positing the idea of having our next baby or even 10. ย This has been the most messy, emotional and increasingly beautiful year that I have ever experienced. Though I still have to remind myself to slow down and enjoy my day to day with my little baby boy, I am overwhelmed with excitement of all that is to come. I had NO idea what this first year would/could hold that Sunday in the hospital.1P7A5050

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