I am a self-proclaimed people-pleaser. I like the approval of pretty much everyone. There is this strange battle in my mind that happens where I think I should be liked by everyone, but don’t think that I am that “likeable.” It is very confusing, it confuses me too. Don’t get me wrong I am confident in who I am and what I do. I just want people to also be confident in those things. People-pleasing somehow, consciously or unconsciously, can factor into almost everything in my life. I’ll spare you a situation by situation explanation, I am sure you could understand if you thought about it. As I have gotten older and studied a little psychology, I’ve tried to really acknowledge it and understand it.
I have told Jason a few times now that I would be a terrible famous person. Anything negative written about me or my body of work (as famous people like to call it 🙂 would make me feel so sad. However, I still have to deal with criticism since both Jason and I own businesses. Jason has a good grasp on handling it all and has shared a few points of wisdom with me.
1. Not everyone will like me and that normal. People were created amazingly different and complex. I marvel at this often. That also means that we are all varied in interests and perspectives. It is easy to lose your own unique interests and perspectives in the attempt to become “appealing” to everyone else’s interests and perspectives. It simply isn’t realistic…but who wouldn’t want to hang out with a girl with these moves
2. My product is not for everyone. In selling vintage items, I want to explain to the world why vintage is amazing and why everyone should wear it. Not everyone cares to wear old clothes. I am reminded of one of my best friends who modeled some of my clothes. Every outfit I would pull out she would giggle and describe the type of person that would have worn that. We would laugh and I knew the clothes weren’t her, but she does look cute.
3. Comparison is the thief of joy (Jason borrowed this point). Like I said earlier, I am not like anyone else and that is a beautiful and empowering thing. If I display all that is uniquely me, I am displaying the creation of a perfect Creator. <— And that cannot be downgraded by anyone else’s opinion of me.
*Not trying to get too sappy and deep, but I wanted to share these great points that help challenge the acceptance of the people-pleaser within and the sadness that comes with it.